Monday, November 9, 2009

Tomorrow


Today is the last day before going back to work. Troy will be 2 months old this week. Just like everyone told me it would, time has gone by quickly. But, I feel like I've done as much as I possibly could over the past 2 months. During the last couple of weeks of my pregnancy, I was very much looking forward to my time off. I wanted to meet my son, to see his little eyes look at me and to find out about this whole motherhood thing. I thought I would change entirely. That hasn't happened at all. I'm still the same Elyse who needs to stay busy. I truly thought he would come into our lives by 9/9/09 and weigh 9 pounds. Ms. Sherry made a comment about that and it stuck with me. But then again, I thought we were going to have a girl. by 9/9/09 and no contractions, I just knew he would be here by 9/11 and I wasn't getting excited about that. Then, when that day passed, I prayed that he would come before I was 2 weeks past my due date. The doctor wasn't comfortable letting me go that late and was wanting to induce. Since I wanted a natural birth, I didn't want to be induced. I wanted God to choose Troy's birthdate. As always, He came through for me and my prayers and Troy was born on the 13th. Looking back over the past couple of months, I've learned a lot about motherhood but have also learned that you can have your cake and eat it too!! Troy has been a wonderful baby for us. He has truly spoiled us!

That spoiliation was evident when, three nights ago, he woke up every 2 hours. His little tummy was hurting him but he wasn't upset. He wanted to eat and play. I got quite frustrated although I didn't tell him. I only told him I wish he would go back to sleep...and I'm sure it was in the sweetest voice ever! Of course I was also thinking that I didn't want him to start getting up like that because I was about to go back to work. Guess what? the next two nights he slept 9 and then 8 1/2 hours. I felt like a fool. He was probably just going through a little growth spurt or something and whatever I ate probably hurt his stomach. Ugh.

We've also done so many other things together. Little man isn't fussy much. He either needs to be changed, to eat or sleep. We're still trying to figure all of that out. He is happy most of the time. He loves me and Brian. His face lights up when he sees us. We get a huge ear to ear grin from him. I'll also say that he adores me. Yes, the feeling is mutual. If you know me well, you know that I'm not a touchy-feely, kissy kissy, affectionate person. But, looking at this little being and knowing that he is absolutely infatuated with me is a bit overwhelming. I love it! Yes, I'm the source of his food. But, that's not why he loves me so much. It's that I'm his mother. I'll treasure this time forever. I just pray that we will be the best teachers we can be, using God's guidance and direction, for Troy's life. And, I pray that he will hold tight to everything he's taught and will grow to become a God-fearing, respectable man.

As I've told many, I absolutely love my son and my feelings toward going back to work have been that I need to go back to work. There are many reasons so I'll name just a few: the benefits, I love what I do, I'm very interested to see how my outlook on my evaluations will change (will I be more compassionate or harsh? more understanding or impatient?), my job is very rewarding to me, I love to read and write about what I do, I love the flexibility, I think I'll be a better mother by working. Goli is taking wonderful care of him also. I cannot express how blessed I feel we are to have found her. She kisses him like crazy and I can see in the other childrens' eyes that they absolutely adore her. She takes them outside which is a big plus for me! Troy has taken to her so well. I want him to be a well-rounded child and be exposed to other people and children (within reason, of course). This is the best route, for our family, for Troy at this time. And...well, I'm going back part time for now which is another blessing. And, working out of the home most of the time isn't a bad thing either. I'm probably not dreading it as much for those two reasons.

Since Troy has been born, one of the greatest blessings we've had is Brian at home. His job responsibilities have changed and he is now in the "office" every day. Prior to Troy's birth, Brian traveled....a lot. Seven states and being gone at least 3 weeks out of each month. I'd say that's a lot. My prayer back then was for strength to manage a baby and work without daddy at home each night. He works for a company based out of Opelika. That office is just a few miles from our house. While he'll travel every now and then, it will be nothing like before. I have a newfound respect for single mothers and single fathers. Just to have an extra hand every now and then is a Godsend. Really, it is! You guys know exactly what I'm talking about.

Now that my post has become extremely long, I will add that I love our life right now. It's as perfect as I can imagine life on Earth right now. Troy is a blessing in and of himself. Truly from God. We prayed for a child for years and now he's here! Brian being at home is a wonderful blessing. He works for a wonderful company which is extremely family oriented. The company I work for is absolutely wonderful, with great benefits, of which I'm very grateful. We enjoy a comfortable life, with time to do the things we want to do (including house and yard work). Thank you, Lord, for these many blessings. I am overwhelmed with His generosity. He blesses us in the good and the tough. I don't call them "bad" times...they're just tough. I seem to seek him more during those tough times and should thank him more for the blessings He's given us. If His love is this wonderful, I cannot imagine life in Heaven or the treasures being stored there for me and my family.

Elyse

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3 comments:

Jenny Watkins said...

Elyse, Thanks for sending me a message on my blog! It was great to meet you at support group the other day. I won't be there next week ... we're heading out of town tomorrow. But I'll probably come the week after that. I'd love to hang out with you sometime! How fun that we have several mutual friends. I also love your sewing stuff! Do you have a price sheet you can send? Have a great week! Jenny

Donna said...

First, that picture is PRECIOUS!!!! OH I'm in love with that little round face- and I'm so impressed he's sleeping so long so early! Hope the transition back goes well. I tell people all the time that the hardest transition for me (even now that I have three kids) was going from hustle, bustle lawyer to staying at home with a baby who couldn't talk or move and slept all day. It's definitely an adjustment!! Your childcare situation sounds great. P.S. Your Christening gown is BY FAR the prettiest one I have EVER seen- oh my goodness it's so intricate and lovely!!! You are really blessed with a wonderful talent- your family will be so blessed by it.

Hillary @ The Other Mama said...

What a special note that your son will read one day! I hope your transition is smooth and it sounds like God is steamrolling the humps for you! GREAT!